In which she makes the rules and breaks the rules.

Warning. This post has a bunch of links. Read once through. Then read again and click away. You’ll get more out of it that way.

Wow, Allissa, you got a lotta rules. -Words spoken by my step-daughter when she was about 12.

We walk out of massage school all shiny and fresh and full of enthusiasm.  We know that we are supposed to be polite and professional to clients and potential clients. We know we should charge clients when they fail to show up and cut their time when they show up late. We know we should always carry business cards, be prepared to promote ourselves and expound upon the benefits of massage to everyone we meet. We know better than to massage a client who clearly had a drink at lunch.  The list of what we know is long. (Of course, the list of what we don’t know is longer.)

These are more guidelines than actual rules. -A friend of mine says that all the time. Unfortunately he usually says it when I’m pointing out the speed limit or the proper way to fill out a deposit slip. He thinks he’s really funny.

The thing is, we get out of school and start practicing for real and it all changes. We adapt, and what we know adapts with us.  We may forgive the chronically late arrival, and even learn to compensate for it in our scheduling, because the client is otherwise fabulous.

We decide to not confront a client when we find ourselves in a grey area of suspected alcohol consumption.

I have business cards, but after reading this, I don’t stress when I run out. I just say “Google massage & Plainville, MA, my name’ll come up.” In fact, I say that when I hand people a card, too. Because the card will get lost. They’ll spell my name all wrong (thanks Mom & Dad), but if they remember massage & my town, or even a nearby town, they’ll find me.

Hold up, crazy girl. -The voice in my head.

Am I suggesting that we throw out intake forms and start dating clients? No. Calm down. High ethical standards are imperative. But sometimes rules are tools. And healthy boundaries are flexible and permeable.  And what we know changes. Daily.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record , the best way to make a go of this business is to be yourself.  The easiest way to cultivate a clientele of people you actually like is to be likeable and personal yourself.  Yes, I want to be a great (appropriate) version of myself for clients.  Clients don’t need to know that my dishes are stacked up or I hate my little brother’s girlfriend. (That was just an example. I only have an older brother and his wife is lovely. Also, she reads this blog.)  Has my wacky sense of humor or tendency to forget first names lost me a client or two? Maybe. I consider it culling the client herd.

The beauty of this field is the ability to make it your own. Make that relationship with your clients so profound and beautiful that they don’t want to go to someone else. They choose you. Even when the guy down the street has a 2 for 1 gift certificate sale. They choose you. Even when a franchise opens up next door. They choose you because they love the way you set up Christmas decorations in your home office. They choose you because you sent a condolence card and a gift certificate to pass along to their mom when their dad died. They choose you because they feel the love.

We create these relationships not because we will gain financially (we will) but because we have a gift to share (we do).  That gift is not just a skilled petrissage, it is also the human element. That’s what separates us from the practitioners in white coats.

Your Unique Selling Proposition is all about YOU. Just like mom said, “You are special!” (And if your mama didn’t say it, I’m saying it. Hear it.)

So exactly what am I supposed to do with this? -That’s you.

Well, that’s up to you. I channel my wacky side into fun emails my clients will actually open.  Check out Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day this year.

My friend Dale created a BEE-YOOO-TIFUL website that makes me want to move to the pacific northwest, damn the rain, just so I can be his client. I whole-heartedly forgive him for wearing jeans to work. I want to be his best friend, sister, and also I would like to steal most of the copy and all of the love and thought that went into that site. It moves me. But it cannot be stolen, because it is all him and can never be me.

AND- he set his rules. He makes it clear what his best work is and how it is best performed. Flexible timing, minimal talking, discounts for mamas and soon-to-be-mamas. He gives a snapshot of his personality that is immediately endearing (see above paragraph).  If you’re not into him, you probably won’t waste $90 to figure that out. You’ll know when you visit his site.

What are you going to do? Who are you? -Me. Out loud this time.

What do you have to show me that the $39 dude can’t?

Special offer for the next 24 hours. If you are having trouble with this ‘being yourself, finding your USP’ bit, email me (just click the little envelope on the top left side of your screen). I’ll throw you some questions and then some ideas. We’ll work on it together.

(Consumed while writing this post: 1 grilled pork chop, sweet potato French fries and fancy salad greens with balsamic dressing. I’m trying to be a big girl and cook more.)

Possibly Related Posts:

• A very special guest post
• Blogging for your Massage Business. I do, will you?
• Massage and social media: when only “just right” will do
• How to shut off the faucet
• Communication for Millenials. And everyone else, too.