Sprezzatura, Onions and SWOT-ing the demons away.

Prologue

For about a year, I’ve been enamored with the notion of Sprezzatura, that is, the air of performing a task, your craft, with ease and grace and little effort.  I first learned about it in a book I came to love/hate. Then Seth Godin wrote about it, too.

I’ve always felt like such a clusterf#@k, getting nervous before a new client or speaking up at a meeting. I would blush and my heart would race if I was put on the spot in class and couldn’t come up with an answer fast enough.  I felt that all the nervousness would be banished if I could cultivate this smoothness, this presentation of cool confidence. I though I could be the Fonz.

Here’s the thing: I can’t do it. I can’t fake a level of self-assurance I don’t have.  And really, I don’t want to, it’s exhausting. I could be spending that energy challenging myself in a more productive way. There are things I am really great at and comfortable doing. There are places I shine. And there are things I know I must do to move forward with my business (and life in general) that give me night terrors.  Why pretend it’s all a cinch? It certainly doesn’t serve you at all to have me faking awesomeness and ease that doesn’t exist. We’re here to learn from each other.

Story

Last week Kelli Wise of MassageTherapyWorld showed some serious cojones and started dissecting her business for all to see.  She’s looking at losing 30% of her client base due to a change in an insurance company for whom she is a provider. Rather than wallow and/or freak out (well, after freaking out), her 1^st move was to start a SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities & Threats) analysis on her business, and she’s been kind enough to let us all see her results and encourage us to do the same exercise for our businesses.

I immediately posted on Facebook that I was following her lead and you would see some results of that this week. Then I got distracted by a few last minute clients. Then I had a long (diabolical plan-creating) dinner with my friend Greg. Then I spent a day seeing clients and working on some tasks for my massage organization responsibilities (more on that another time). Then I plopped in front of Saturday night’s House marathon and prepared for Sunday’s committee meeting for said massage organization.  After Sunday’s meeting I took a nap and had a lazy dinner. I got too little sleep but started Monday with high hopes and even higher expectations.

All the while, “SWOT analysis” was in my calendar, getting repeatedly moved to ‘tomorrow’.  Right up until last night around 9:30pm when I got home, dropped some soup in a pan to heat and sat down at my computer to GET_IT_DONE.

Then I heard the dripping. Did I leave the shower on slightly? Is it just coming from outside (rainy all day here)? Investigation ensued. Water was dripping from the ceiling in my bedroom, onto the carpet. So I sighed, put a bucket under it, and left a message on the landlord’s voicemail. I’m pretty good at finding the positive in any given situation. So I was immediately thankful that: 1. It had just started to drip, there were no puddles or flooding, and B. It was in an area well away from my bed, clothes, far from anything that could get damaged.

I stirred my soup and sat my pathetic little self back down at the table to write. But the DRIPPING. Oh, the DRIPPING. You know what I mean, you can hear it in your head right now.  We’ve all been there. And then came the realization that I would have to sleep with that noise. That’s when I lost it. Lack of sleep + hunger + feeling stupid that I procrastinated this SWOT thing + life in general = that primal sob that starts at your gut and knocks the wind out of you and closes your throat except for the tiniest bit of space needed to inhale and sob again. It’s the sob that encompasses every lousy choice you’ve ever made, every hurtful comment you’ve wanted to suck back into your mouth, every time you tripped in public, every error you made that resulted in your kid thinking for half a second that you might not love them (and the same goes for your parents), every time you realized you had to break someone’s heart and that could have been prevented but you were selfish. And on and on and on. You know that sob. Your heart just ached a little bit recalling the last time you felt that way. We’ve all been there.

I’m not a ‘wallow in it’ kinda girl. I’ve got a turnaround time of about 6 minutes on any particular meltdown.  I can pull my shit together pretty quick. (I cannot, however, make my face stop being blotchy for several hours. I hate that.) I also think that stuffing this sob down doesn’t help anyone out. And the best way out is through.

So here’s the first part my SWOT analysis. Only it’s not just about my business, it’s about kind of about everything. I think that’s typical for a micro-business owner in such a personal industry.

The SWOT

Strengths

• Very hard worker
• Dedicated and motivated
• Endlessly enthusiastic
• Truly enjoy my clients
• Love the hands-on work
• Strong leader who makes boring work fun
• Quickly adapt and respond in the face of any particular obstacle or crisis
• Kick-ass sense of humor
• Huge amount of love to give

Weaknesses

• Procrastinate paperwork tasks and cleaning chores
• Take on too many things that interest me and get overwhelmed (see above story)
• Get complacent
• Short attention span and lack of ability to focus
• I am too flexible with both my work and personal schedules and allow each to seep into the other’s time and distract me
• Have a hard time being present in the moment
• Swear like a truck driver raised by sailors (I descend from both, it’s in my genes)
• Stingy with my love, as if it will run out, or spending it will make me poor. Or weak.

So there it is. Holly Cole says:

I’m naked, shameless, and peeling back the layers, like an Onion Girl.

I’m with Holly. Sprezzatura be damned. We’ve all been there.

Kelli already has her part 2, Opportunities and Threats, posted. I’ll get on that, too.

Please do your SWOT analysis. We need to grow together. Be brave, email it to someone. Anyone who’ll give you props for doing it. Post it in the comments of Kelli’s blog like she’s asking.  Or send it to me. We got your back. And it would be great if you had mine, please.

Consider this: when one of us fails, we all fail. When our colleague down the street closes because her marketing skills suck, or his hand-on classes were inferior because his school was a diploma mill and he really coulda used a mentor, we all lose. That’s 2 potentially great therapists who could have been spreading the word of Great Massage and cultivating clients for all of us.

*Oh, if you haven’t read this Manifesto of Encouragement yet, please do. We all can use a cheerleader on occasion. Maybe print it out and hang it up. Fold it into your wallet. Or just email it to yourself so you can access it on that fancy smartphone when you need to.*

See you in a few days and we’ll talk about Opportunities and Threats. Baby steps.

(Consumed while writing this post: Hot & Sour soup last night, chicken salad sandwich today.)

Possibly Related Posts:

• A very special guest post
• Blogging for your Massage Business. I do, will you?
• Massage and social media: when only “just right” will do
• How to shut off the faucet
• Communication for Millenials. And everyone else, too.